The Larval Lounge has been an exciting home away from home on magGotFilms.com for some time now. It has been a chance for our magGot Clan to share their love for the arts. Being smothered beneath a mother load of projects, I have yet to break away and throw my two cents at something here.

The purpose of the Larval Lounge is to show our love for the arts, not piss on them. There are some films that should be seen but are dogged by critics. They are too unique and demand the viewer think for themselves. Especially the ones that don’t have any major stars or players involved that steer an audience at them.

Well, one of these ‘experiences’ has hit home recently. Two viewings in the theater later, I was saturated in pure awe. For the first time since I can remember I sat in the theater and experienced a film that had so much going on, from a crew I hadn’t known. Magnet has backed a limited theatrical run for a very special piece of celluloid.

For God’s sake, run to the theater if it manages to get to your town. Support this film. You will not be disappointed. It is as pure and as real as it gets. There is nothing in it designed to appease to todays standards. It is what it wants to be and that is magical.

Ignore the critics bashing it. Most of us magGites recognize this is a sign of a good film, but I felt it right to give some praise where it’s needed.

The cinematography, acting, score, theme and all else are top notch. Magnet deserves accolades for releasing this beast. They support the off beat and the ones trying to say something else. They’re supporting the resurgence of the anthology as well, having already picked up V/H/S and ABC’s of Death. We can only hope they’ll possibly find the love for some other projects within grasp…

Check for your closest theater HERE.

Do whatever it takes to see it in the theater. It is an experience you will not forget…

Salute to Magnet. You give hope in distribution.

Salute to Panos Cosmatos for his directorial debut. One hell of a way to make your mark man. May you have a career of unending dreams and ambitions.

Congratulations. I have been swallowed by the Black Rainbow…

Panos Cosmatos

ENTER THE BLACK RAINBOW…

Click here to view the embedded video.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from world news, high school and film, it’s that Science is the enemy. It’s asked questions that drive people insane, robbed me of precious adolescent nothing-time and, in the case of this film, destroyed lives. Herein lies the world of Cronenberg, the filmic equivalent of a mad scientist. A deranged genius who has become very, VERY good at melding the scientific with the horrific into something that is a whole new beast. This film is a prime example.

To call this film an out-and-out remake would be doing it an injustice. Sure, it bears obvious similarities to the 1958 film of the same name, but this film is it’s own being. The story does not bear more than a passing resemblance, as it deals much more with the gradual procession from man to insect, rather than a quick swap.

The film introduces us to Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum), a young scientist who meets Veronica (Geena Davis), a reporter for Particle Magazine, a scientific periodical. He tells her that he’s created something that will change the course of mankind as we know it. He brings her to his laboratory where he reveals his invention, a pair of twin teleporters that are made to transport matter from one place to another. He begins by teleporting a stocking, and so begins their journey into the unknown as they prepare to perfect this process and reveal it to the world, while falling in love in the process. But genius has it’s price.

One night, after a successful test with a Baboon, Veronica leaves to her Editor/Ex boyfriend’s (John Getz) office to tell him to leave her, and Seth alone. Thinking the worst, drunk and jealous, Seth teleports himself. And although the test seems to have been a success, he was too drunk/angry to notice the ordinary housefly that flew in with him. Seth begins to change. At first it seems to be for the better. Aside from his constant need for sugar, he’s stronger, faster and more verile. But as time passes, his body goes through grotesque changes that begin to become more and more debilitating. We are left to question, is he a man slowly becoming an insect, or an insect finally realizing he’s been human. As is implied in dialogue “Man is an insect.”
 This is Cronenberg, at his most, dare I say it: “Cronenbergian”. Throughout films like Shivers, Rabid, and Videodrome, his brand of Body Horror has become so strongly attached to his name that the term Cronenbergian had even started to apply to other films. The revolting changes Seth goes through whilst becoming ‘Brundlefly’ are both fascinating and, well, icky. Howard Shore (A Cronenberg staple)  gives us what I believe to be one of the greatest film scores ever, and Chris Walas’s creature effects are still among the best in film history.

So, as I said before, Science is the enemy. The constant need to “Plunge into the plasma pool” has brought nothing but social awkwardness, pointless religious debates, classroom sleep, and has stopped an enormous group of people from getting laid. Now quickly, go forth and destroy every science lab you can find. For fuck’s sake, the fate of humanity depends on it!!

-Justin “Lecherous” Tunny

The cast is interesting.  It’s not dynamite like the original with Kurt Russell, Keith David, and Wilford Brimley, but it had me peeking out of the corners of my eyes.  It had the dude from °Beerfest°, Eric
Christian Olsen, the one who plays Gunter.  I cannot take this guy’s face seriously since I saw that flick, but he was good in this one. Also, obscurely enough it had Paul Braunstein, whom I know as °Johnny, the only brilliant thing about that awful, awful Canadian subway soap opera ‘Train 48′ (RIP)° He dies early, but hey, I’m pretty stoked that a talent like his wasn’t buried by his own country’s shitty programming. Well cast.

The movie is fundamentally different than the Carpenter film in the casting of a female in the lead. This is Mary Elisabeth Winstead (a distant cousin of Ava Gardner whom our very own Mr. Ben Tatar gave sweet sweet coitus to, back in the waywaywayback!).  She is excellent as Kate, the American scientist enlisted to help a bunch of Norwegian yokels at an arctic outpost to dissect a newly discovered alien trapped in a block of ice.  There is a calm and underdone gravitas of everyone’s performance that really anchors this prequel to the original. Not trying to outdo the cool parts of the original with more firepower and a hip young cast.  This one is as bleak and frustrating as the original, with a slightly less claustrophobic feel.  Oh, and if you’re worried about a happy ending, not to worry, my dark-souled friends.

Another Canadian, Kim Bubbs, is one of the film’s two females in thefilm. She was there at the the screening and she explained that there was a concentrated effort to use some puppetry and practical F/X mixed into the current digital stuff to absolutely honour the Carpenter original’s tone and magic, and I’m ecstatic to say it did. I did feel they cannibalized °Alien/Aliens° with the design of the um, alien at first, and there were some face-sucking er, uh aliens and such, but at this point it would be like being mad that Iced Earth’s new album copies Judas Priest AND Black Sabbath.  FOR SHAME!!

I hate digital effects, buuuut they are needed for new sci-fi, fantasy, horror projects, so get used to it. I think they waited long enough to make this prequel, in order for some of the higher ups at Universal to truly appreciate what made the Carpenter version so bloody spectacular. If  they made it back then McReady would have returned as the Thing-Overlord and spouted sly alien one-liners, maybe even rapped!

If you go in with a clean palette and are willing to overlook some minor modern F/X chicanery you will be thrilled with this remake/prequel/clone/alien/pizza/thing.

Skeeter

Click here to view the embedded video.

I’ve heard the term “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” all my life. While I’ve always figured they were specifically talking about New York City, after seeing this, I now fully believe they were referring to SLIME City.

Slime City is the debut feature of independent filmmaker-turned author Gregory Lamberson, and it was made near the end of what I feel is one of the greatest periods for independent genre film making, the eighties. This was an era that birthed such bat-shit crazy classics as Basket Case, Combat Shock, From Beyond, Street Trash, etc. This was a period of rampant disregard for conventional film making, rivaled only by the seventies. Slime City marked the end of an era. It was an unbelievably satisfying end, but an end nonetheless.

The story involves young Art student Alex (Robert Sabin) who has just moved into his first apartment, hoping that living on his own, rather than in a dorm would convince his virgin girlfriend Lori (Mary Huner) to move in with him, and thus, have sex with him. Things go awry pretty  quickly when one of his neighbors, aspiring poet Roman (Dennis Embry) gives him some mysterious elixir and “Himilayan Yogurt” made by the long-dis ceased father of their landlady, Zachary, notorious alchemist and occultist. He’s seduced by his sexy next door neighbor Nicole (Ironically, also played by Mary Huner) and so begins his downward spiral as the spirit of Zachary (Played in a dream sequence by Daniel Frye) slowly takes over his body, turning him into a deformed, slime-covered monster who needs to kill to maintain his normal appearance. Much splatter ensues, with blood and gore showing up left, right and center, but would you have it any other way?

Slime City comes off as a movie that takes place in some kind of parallel universe where cops befriend prostitutes, mysterious mediums offer information of grave danger for only a dollar, and your average hobo is actually quite well read, and a bit of a snazzy talker. In short,this movie rules! The film’s shoestring budget never becomes too apparent, as the effects, cinematography and music all work very well. In particular, the last fifteen minutes or so will surely be etched into your brain for years to come. The performances by all are quite believable, and fun to watch.

All in all, you really can’t go wrong with Slime City. It’s original, fast paced, and as I mentioned earlier, bat-shit insane. It’s crazy plot is never boring, and despite it’s insanity comes off as oddly believable.

Why?…………………………..

…………………..Fuck you, that’s why.

Click here to view the embedded video.

-Justin

Right off the bat I love this neo-slasher because the first thing you see is our very own Mr. Ben Tatar on the menu screen. “Don’t be afraid…Touch it!” he says, gesturing to a cadaver. Chromeskull:
Laid to Rest 2 is a sequel that starts exactly where the first left off, ala Halloween 2 (the good one).  Since the first installment director Rob Hall has grown tenfold in the chair. Where the first was
more spastic and tonally uneven, Chromeskull is a solid, well-paced and pondered slashbanger, with the dramatic tension of a Terminator film (makes sense since Hall was involved in the Terminator TV series).

Brian Austin Green whips out his acting junk, absolutely squashing his David Silver reputation, playing the loatheful, almost hulking, overachieving assistant in Chromeskull’s underground thrill kill cult. He’s bent on becoming the next great media murder artist, thinking he could surpass the level of sadism and efficiency benchmarked by Chromey.

This is where the theme of it kinda skews from the old school hack’n'slash formula. Chromeskull is apparently a rich motherscratcher who kills out of pure sensationalism, he won’t even waste a kill when the camera’s not rolling! This is different from the usual modus opperan-DIE (forgive me) of say Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees, who kill out of revenge and mental illness. That puts a little neo-spin on it. Not necessary but….cool!

Other than the killer and the killers assistant, there are also good performances from the victims, ahem, heroes. Danielle Harris and a returning Thomas Dekkar round out the cast in fine fashion.

So let’s get to the killer.  Ex-hardcore screamer Nick Principe goes eerily mute again, returning as the titular character, a graceful, lumbering menace. Not since Kane Hodder have we had such an amazing physical presence in a baddy.  I can’t wait to see this big bastard in a more substantial speaking role. I’ve met him, believe me, he has personality to spare! Somebody cast him NOW.

The FX are the true star of the show as bodies are splayed left and right, up and down, and around and around…”BARRF!” This is some of the greatest mix of practical effects with just a touch of digitals to clean up the seams. This is truly an FX masterpiece for the ages!

There you have it boys and girls. Waited for it, tracked it, even helped out in a teeny tiny way, bought it, watched it…. LOVED IT! Go out and buy this one. It’s made just for us, by folks just like
us.

Skeeter

Click here to view the embedded video.

Without a doubt in my mind, I am a dirty person. I enjoy dirty jokes, and things that some may find offensive, crude, and even indecent. So it occurred to me upon first viewing this film that it seemed to be tailor-made for me, the grimiest movie ever made. Everything I love in a movie is here: Vulgarity, Gore, Nudity, Gore, Violence, Toilet Humour, Gore, Sleazy Sexual Content, did I mention that it’s gory? Street Trash is without a doubt one of the most original, imaginative, and unabashedly offensive horror films of the eighties.

The plot, aside from being filled with gratuitous gore, is actually rather multi-layered, consisting of several different stories interacting with one another. The core of the film involves a greedy liquor store proprietor (M.D’Jango Krunch) who finds a hidden batch of liquor called Tenafly Viper, which is over sixty years old. Ever the eternal salesman, Ed (The Store Owner) decides to sell the bottles at a buck a piece. The majority of his customers are bums and derelicts, so he doesn’t have much of a problem selling the ancient booze. However, a dark and horrifying truth awaits all who drink the booze, because whoever does……..melts. Crazy, right?

As the acidic hooch makes its way through the New York underground, hobos and winos are melting left and right. Two runaways, Fred (Mike Lackey) and Kevin (Mark Sfrezza) run afoul of Bronson (Vic Noto), a shell-shocked (Insane from Nam), murderous psychopath who is the proclaimed “King of the Winos”. And to top it all off, a rough, slightly unorthodox cop is investigating the murder and rape of a Manhattan woman. A couple of melting winos and exploding fat guys later; you have what I have no problem calling the best independent horror films of the 1980’s. Troma fans will definatley enjoy the presence of R.L (Pat) Ryan, star of such Troma classics as The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke’Em High. The cinematography is fantastic, with director Muro operating the steadicam and David Sperling serving as main director of photography, the camerawork adds, believe it or not, a touch of class to an otherwise abrasive film.

The effects are wonderful, just the right level of professionalism with plenty of cheesiness. The scene when a heavyset wino drinks the booze, and then respectively explodes, is definitely something that has to be seen to be believed. The main signature special effect, the one that is remembered above all the other visions of grue and gore, is definitely the castration, which then leads to an impromptu game of penis-football. The only down point for me is the number of scenes between Tony, the (possibly) Mafia-employed restaurant owner (Tony Darrow) and his smart-ass, wise-cracking doorman (James Lorinz). They have such wonderful chemistry, and it’s a shame that they don’t share more screen time, they’re hilarious!

Despite the complete lack of moral fibre in the film, I also do believe that it has something to say about the dehumanization of the homeless. Too often we as a society look down and mock them, not realizing that they are indeed people too. These characters are winos, hobos and derelicts, this is true. However, they also display a lot of character and emotions, making us all remember that we’re really not all that different. I also believe that this film was made, harbouring more than a little anger towards the Viet Nam war, or perhaps war in general, as it turns an otherwise normal man into a human-femur- bone-knife-wielding psychopath, as well as the banter between brothers Fred and Kevin about their shell-shocked father (In an early cut of the film, cut footage revealed Bronson to be Fred and Kevin’s father). It also has something to say about the rotting of New York, with a plethora of badly cracked city streets, and horribly crumbled and decomposing buildings. All social and Economic commentary aside, the artistic merit of the film is immense, rich with different colours of melting human manner, and unique and creative graffiti covers damn-near every wall in every shot. Along with the thick layer of dirt that covers nearly everything and everyone, this movie looks dirty and grimy, but has a technical brilliance that also makes the film beautiful, It’s ugly and beautiful, all at once.

After Street Trash, director Jim Muro never directed another film. Instead he became one of the world’s most sought-after steadicam operators, working on such prestigious films as Paul Haggis’s Crash, Flicka, Field of Dreams and Dances With Wolves, among others.

All in all, Street Trash is a film I hold very dear to my heart, and will for some time. It has its point to make, but does not bog the viewer down with pretentiousness and boredom, and it shamelessly splashes blood and guts all over the place with such a huge sense of child-like innocence, that you can’t help but smile. I could not recommend this movie enough. So turn down your lights, grab your Tenafly Viper, and prepare to be melted out of your seat, you’ll be glad you did.

- Justin “Lecherous” Tunny

Click here to view the embedded video.

Death by drill would be absolutely terrible. I used to think that death by chainsaw would be the worst, and that’s not a difficult position to take. Having the belt literally hook onto parts of your insides and tear them out would be one of the most agonizing, brutal deaths… I would sooner drown in someone else’s feces. But as I watched the first man in this movie to get killed by a drill, I realized just how much worse death by drill is. It’s pretty tiny, so you’d have more time to be alive for, and instead of pulling shit out of you, it just straight up mashes it up like it was in a shitty blender. Death by drill, my friends, would be way worse.

And this guy just loves it! He goes on these little rampages all over town, finding poor, helpless, unsuspecting civilians to mash up with a power drill when he’s not painting his “masterpiece” or complaining about how loud the music is next door. In these scenes, the movie uses one of my (seriously) favourite horror techniques: Introduce a character for no more than thirty seconds and then have their insides splayed all over the screen. Gotta love it.

Now, can I say, for the record, that the music in this movie is beyond badass. While I’m not really sure what the punk band contributes to the movie concerning story and plot development, they have some kick-ass tunes. And I mean seriously some of the coolest punk music I’ve heard in a long time. The possibility exists that these might be covers and I’ve never heard the originals, granted, but man, do these songs kick ass. It’s because of that that I honestly don’t give two shits that they weren’t of any benefit to the narrative. The music is hard as fuck, boys.

As for the story itself, I was actually surprised at how original it was. I have this box set sitting in my room that I hadn’t looked at ever, and it cost maybe four bucks for thirty movies… So naturally I was kinda thinking they’d all, well… Suck. But hell no! This movie doesn’t suck. It’s got this weird plot about an artist who goes absolutely bonkers from all the pressure surrounding not only the act of artistic creation, but using that to support himself. What happens then, folks? A whole bunch of nameless people get drilled to death. And it was fucking cool.

So while I’m sure this movie is impossible to find, if you do happen to see it around, well, why not? It’ll probably come in a pack of thirty movies, cost four bucks, and you’ll be super surprised at how good the movies in it actually are. Personally, I’ve got two of these box sets now I’m gonna plough through, and it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Oh, and after you’re done… Try telling me the drill isn’t the shittiest way to die ever.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I’m a really huge fan of hyperbole. I like to think that every movie I see, particularly immediately after I’ve seen it, is the Best Movie Ever. And I tell everyone. “You absolutely have to see this movie, dude… It’s the best movie ever!” And they watch it, because I make them, and they usually don’t agree. Sometimes, even, they think I’m a quack and tell me that I have terrible taste in movies (this goes for music, too). But once somebody sees Rowdy Roddy Piper fight Keith David for seven minutes yelling “Put the glasses on!”, I hear few arguments.

I really do think this is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen, though. it’s an amazingly personal film, for having such a ridiculous concept. For those of you unaware, it’s about a guy who finds a pair of sunglasses that show him the world is run by aliens and subliminal messages. Basically, the best pair of shades in the world. What makes it so personal, is that John Carpenter loads this with his own politics… He takes every shot he can at people with expensive watches, big bank accounts, nice suits, banks, and sell-outs. All the people everyone normally hates.
Which was, actually, the only argument I’ve heard yet against the movie: That it’s already been said so many times, it’s just hating on people nobody likes anyways. We already know that we can”t trust bankers, politicians, cops, businessmen… To a certain degree, anyways. So what’s the point in watching the movie? Is it to have something reaffirm your own beliefs… To be assured that someone’s fighting on your side?

Maybe. it’s possible. I”ll admit that one of the main aspects of the film that really drew me in was the fact that I felt a little bit of loneliness skip away knowing someone agreed with me… Particularly someone with the reputation Carpenter has. “You mean there’s someone making semi-major films that thinks this shit up too? Cool!” But I don’t think it’s that. Even if you skip out on all the social-conscience metaphoric value, it’s a kick-ass action movie, which has the best one-liner since Die Hard:
“I’m here to chew bubblegum, and kick ass… And I’m all out of bubblegum.”

This followed by shotgun blasts fired at bankers who are really super-ugly aliens. I know, right? How can you say no to that? The actions scenes are good fun, the fist-fight is the best in movie history (there I go with that hyperbole again, eh?), so, yeah, even if you turn your head off to the thinkin” parts, it’s a lot of fun. But it’s pretty damn hard to ignore the obvious angry-at-everything political angle. So what’s the point in watching it if it’s all been said before?

Because there’s something lurking behind it. Sure, it tells you we’ve been brainwashed, that we live in a saturated world that doesn”t take any chances and is living in a perpetual state of selling out, but it points a pretty hefty finger at the audience. it’s like it’s saying “Look what you”ve let them do.” Just how much time gets wasted in front of TV’s watching the remake-series of Hawaii Five-0 is baffling, but no more than how much gets done and ruined in that time that we didn”t even know about. If anything carries real weight in the movie, it’s the implicit notion that we”re only here, this fucked up, because they did while we were sleeping, a nap we’ve yet to come out of. They Live While We Sleep.

So do you watch it? You’re damn right, you do. It even gives you a good one-liner yourself: Every time you learn something new that makes you see the world for how it truly is, you can look yourself in the mirror and say “Now I’ve got my glasses on.” The first step is watching the film. Get your damn glasses on, and get ‘em on fast… I don’t know if I can throw down for seven minutes.

-The Mad Haunter

Click here to view the embedded video.

33 years ago acclaimed Italian filmmaker Dario Argento, released his fourth—and arguably his best film, “Suspiria”. Three years later, the semi-sequel, “Inferno”, was released and a full-blown trilogy was underway. After almost thirty years of anticipation, the third and final chapter in Argento”s “Three Mothers” trilogy has finally arrived. In comparison to its predecessors, “Mother of Tears” is a modern twist on the classic, supernatural witch tale, still pungent with the aroma of old-school Italian horror. It’s like a breath of fresh air—an experience to enlighten your senses.

The film follows a young art history student named Sarah (played by Dario’s daughter, Asia Argento) who discovers an ancient urn containing a curse that awakens an ancient witch known as “The Mother of Tears”. The city of Rome is plagued by suicide, violence, and death and it is up to Sarah to use her supernatural abilities to bring the chaos to an end and kill the witch for good. Sarah’s attempt at heroism is interrupted by a coven of witches from around the world who have united in Rome to wreak havoc and celebrate the rebirth of their leader.

In American horror, women are essentially portrayed as the weaker of the sexes, often playing the role of the helpless victim””usually the first to die as a result of a lack of intelligence. Where as Italian horror cinema is often defined by the empowerment of women. “Mother of Tears” contains a lot of strong imagery, which symbolizes the strength of women; I.E. the color red, female nudity/sexuality, as well as both female antagonists (witches) and protagonists.

The Three Mother”s trilogy is a nice change from your typical run-of-the-mill horror films, which focus mainly on brainless, big-breasted, women getting naked and then being ruthlessly hacked to pieces throughout the duration of the film. “Mother of Tears” may be overflowing with nudity and sex (featuring what could possibly be the sickest blood orgy of all time), but it is also equipped with a solid plot stemming from two memorable predecessors, ripe talent, and gratuitous gore. Dario Argento, once again, fails to disappoint in his third and final addition to the highly regarded “Three Mothers” trilogy. It is most definitely one of the must see horror films of 2008.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The title says it all. It’s about a fight between a Megalodon and a giant octopus. It’s got terrible special effects, worse acting, and frequently dives head-first into the realm of Making Absolutely No Sense. All the things that make for a great B-movie.

Now, personally, I had my money on Giant Octopus. I’ve seen some videos of a regular one versus a regular shark, and, surprisingly, it won. I don’t know about you guys, but those things are scary as hell, all those legs and those weird eyes… But when half-way through the movie Mega Shark dove out of the water and took out a 747? I was starting to second-guess myself.

Now, that’s a scene that I would like to talk about. Here’s how it plays out: You see the plane (done on what looks like a movie-maker program that comes free with your computer), then you see the passengers. They hit some turbulence. A guy stands up, and the stewardess assures him that everything’s fine, it’s all under control, to which he replies “I’m getting married in two days.” She smiles, reassures him, he sits down slightly more on the calm side…

Then he looks out the window.

“Holy shit!”

AND THEN THROUGH THE WINDOW YOU SEE MEGA SHARK JUMP UP OUT OF THE OCEAN AND BITE ONTO THE PLANE!

That’s the most badass thing I’ve EVER seen. PERIOD. It takes the entire plane into the water and everyone dies. Whoa. I watched that scene five times after the movie was done. It’s so worth it.

Anyways, the rest of the movie centers around what appears to be a government conspiracy trying to cover up these attacks, of which there are a couple more. Eventually, a research team decides that they have to bring them both back to the scene where they both froze out of the prehistoric ice, so that they can finish the epic battle that they started 300 million years ago.

Who will win? Mega Shark? Giant Octopus? Place your bets.

Click here to view the embedded video.