Death by drill would be absolutely terrible. I used to think that death by chainsaw would be the worst, and that’s not a difficult position to take. Having the belt literally hook onto parts of your insides and tear them out would be one of the most agonizing, brutal deaths… I would sooner drown in [...]
Author Archives: The Mad Haunter
They Live
December 8, 2010 – 12:23 am
I’m a really huge fan of hyperbole. I like to think that every movie I see, particularly immediately after I’ve seen it, is the Best Movie Ever. And I tell everyone. “You absolutely have to see this movie, dude… It’s the best movie ever!” And they watch it, because I make them, and they usually [...]
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
November 18, 2010 – 5:57 pm
The title says it all. It’s about a fight between a Megalodon and a giant octopus. It’s got terrible special effects, worse acting, and frequently dives head-first into the realm of Making Absolutely No Sense. All the things that make for a great B-movie. Now, personally, I had my money on Giant Octopus. I’ve seen [...]
Cthulhu
November 11, 2010 – 5:00 pm
Cthulhu is a movie that I have been hoping to see for a long time. I’ve been a huge fan of HP Lovecraft for a few years now, and seeing the “Cthulhu Mythos”, as it is called, on screen is just plain sweet. It’s done in a way that both stays true to its original [...]
Primer
November 6, 2010 – 4:15 pm
Have you ever: Come out of a movie and had absolutely no idea what happened? I thought I had. It took me about four tries with Eraserhead before I figured out enough of it to talk to people about it. I had to watch a couple experimental films when I was at university that left [...]
Army Of Darkness
October 27, 2010 – 6:41 pm
I’ve always wanted to do this. Ever since my first watching of Evil Dead 2 as a boy I’ve hardly gone a single day without remembering something from the series, and so I feel strongly compelled to write about how much I love this movie, which I have seen in excess of a hundred times [...]
eXistenz
October 21, 2010 – 6:07 pm
David Cronenberg is too badass. I’ve seen a pretty good number of his movies… “The Fly,” “The Brood,” “Naked Lunch,” “Dead Ringers”… The first two have since become two of my favourite movies ever, and “Naked Lunch” is really the only way that the book could have possibly been adapted into a feature film. But [...]
Plan 9 From Outer Space
October 14, 2010 – 5:21 pm
Alright, laugh if you will… But I’m going to do it. I’m going to justify Plan 9 as a good movie. It’s been called “The Worst Film Ever Made” by an unimaginable number of critics… And those who disagree point to Ed Wood’s other film Glen or Glenda as the real place-holder. But I firmly [...]
Jacob’s Ladder
October 7, 2010 – 7:13 am
Jacob’s Ladder is a supremely cool mind-fuck of a movie. It’s the kind of film where you’re never sure if any of the explanations you’re given are legitimate, whether or not what you’re seeing real, and, in the end, whether or not you’re actually real yourself. Badassery as its finest. It’s based on a short [...]
Tromeo and Juliet
September 20, 2010 – 8:13 am
Shakespeare should have made this instead. Romeo and Juliet is a classic melodrama. Sure, there’s some exciting sequences involving sword fights and supposed deaths… Sure it has the most depressing (and incredible) ending ever. But it doesn’t have bondage, drugs, or a guy trying to fit part of his brain back into his head that [...]
