The Driller Killer

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Death by drill would be absolutely terrible. I used to think that death by chainsaw would be the worst, and that’s not a difficult position to take. Having the belt literally hook onto parts of your insides and tear them out would be one of the most agonizing, brutal deaths… I would sooner drown in someone else’s feces. But as I watched the first man in this movie to get killed by a drill, I realized just how much worse death by drill is. It’s pretty tiny, so you’d have more time to be alive for, and instead of pulling shit out of you, it just straight up mashes it up like it was in a shitty blender. Death by drill, my friends, would be way worse.

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And this guy just loves it! He goes on these little rampages all over town, finding poor, helpless, unsuspecting civilians to mash up with a power drill when he’s not painting his “masterpiece” or complaining about how loud the music is next door. In these scenes, the movie uses one of my (seriously) favourite horror techniques: Introduce a character for no more than thirty seconds and then have their insides splayed all over the screen. Gotta love it.

Now, can I say, for the record, that the music in this movie is beyond badass. While I’m not really sure what the punk band contributes to the movie concerning story and plot development, they have some kick-ass tunes. And I mean seriously some of the coolest punk music I’ve heard in a long time. The possibility exists that these might be covers and I’ve never heard the originals, granted, but man, do these songs kick ass. It’s because of that that I honestly don’t give two shits that they weren’t of any benefit to the narrative. The music is hard as fuck, boys.

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As for the story itself, I was actually surprised at how original it was. I have this box set sitting in my room that I hadn’t looked at ever, and it cost maybe four bucks for thirty movies… So naturally I was kinda thinking they’d all, well… Suck. But hell no! This movie doesn’t suck. It’s got this weird plot about an artist who goes absolutely bonkers from all the pressure surrounding not only the act of artistic creation, but using that to support himself. What happens then, folks? A whole bunch of nameless people get drilled to death. And it was fucking cool.

So while I’m sure this movie is impossible to find, if you do happen to see it around, well, why not? It’ll probably come in a pack of thirty movies, cost four bucks, and you’ll be super surprised at how good the movies in it actually are. Personally, I’ve got two of these box sets now I’m gonna plough through, and it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Oh, and after you’re done… Try telling me the drill isn’t the shittiest way to die ever.

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